Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
