I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
