He asked to "fluff my boner.."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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