I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I feel great
I just peed on a car
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
