i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
