His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
