I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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