That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
