I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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