Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
