After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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