Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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