So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
