What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
