Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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