Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize