Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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