You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
