Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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