just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
