so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
