An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
