we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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