pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
