my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
