Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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