I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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