And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
