it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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