He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
