I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
