My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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