As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize