If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
