Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
