After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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