a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
