Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
