How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
