If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize