come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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