omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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