What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
