OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
