My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
