i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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