it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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