If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
