i just wanna soil my oats bro
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's never too late to be topless.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
