so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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