I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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