I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
