I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
