I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
