If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize