You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
