too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
