Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
