youre lurking in front of me
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
