i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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