I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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