I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
