Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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