i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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